apparently if you mention pizza tumblr user pizza will come
who said that
10/10 doctors say reblogging my selfie will make your teeth whiter
being an adult
is pansexuality not caring if you find an alligator
If the alligator is limp, is it a reptile dysfunction?
we need to get outside
there is a huge difference between genuinely liking someone and liking the attention they give you and it took me a long ass time to realize that
i wish i lost weight as fast as i lose motivation
“take the trash out”
“clean your room”
“stop wiping your butt on the curtains”
omfg i am so done
my brother wouldn’t order pizza so i put ketchup on my wrists and lied down on the kitchen floor next to a knife and when he came into the room all he said was “finally”
that moment when you hear someone getting home and have to brace yourself for the disappearance of your good mood
I remember in year 2 there was a girl who had literally never had a haircut so her hair was ridiculously long [imagine Rapunzel basically] and she always complained about it but her mum wouldn’t let her get it cut
So one day at recess she put an entire pack of chewed gum in her hair at the exact length she wanted it cut to.
She came in the next day with her hair cut how she wanted it and a smug grin on her face and I knew that that girl was going places.
shipping is stupid
shipping is banned
no more shipping ever for anybody
if you want to buy a package off of ebay you fucking walk to hong kong and get it